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Allstar
Joined: 23 Sep 2000
Posts: 2509
Location: Texas |
So, my ex destroyed my life, now what?
bring on the flames I feel like venting so I don't care.
I'm 30 years old, I have 2 kids, a 5 year old named Chloe, and a 2 year old named Leila. I was married for 8 years.
Around July of last year (close to my birthday and our wedding anniversary) my wife started sleeping with another man. When I found out, she simply kept doing it in front of my face, she would simply leave the kids with me for the weekend and go fuck him to her hearts content. I was in between contract jobs at the time and on unemployment and had no way to do much about it, as she was on the Lease. Finally I got enough money to move out, and she moved in with him with my kids.
She immediately went to the attorney general, and denied me from seeing my kids untill I signed that I would pay child support.
The good job I had, I had a huge falling out with my boss (who is also family, and had a huge falling out with my family, but thats another story)
is gone and now I'm stuck delivering water bottles for $500 a week.
My child support is well over a 100 a week, my rent which is actually stupid low, is $600 a month, and I still owe court costs from the bullshit with the attorney general, and my credit is ruined from bailing on the apartment we had in middle of the lease, among other things, she also rushed off and filed her taxes before me claimin both kids (that i supported the majority of last year) and didnt give me a cent. now I owe the IRS $600.
I live in her hometown cause I used to be out of town all the time so we thought it best for her to be near her family, now I'm stuck here if I wanna have a life with my children away from all my friends and my own family.
Every time i get paid, i'm broke by the next monday. I literally own nothing, she took everything. The only thing I own is my falling apart pt cruiser that likes to overheat and go dead, and my aging gaming pc. I'm falling behind on child support because they screwed up and didnt draft it out of my check a few weeks, and might go to jail for that pretty soon. I'm now juggling paying back court costs, back child support, and the IRS, plus all my normal bills. She just picked up the kids and my 2 year old cried the entire time reaching out for me and repeating 'no daddy', and it pretty much ripped me apart. I'm really struggling to make it day by day. I don't know what to do I feel like I'm sinking in a hole and there's no way out. We tried to reconcile a month or so ago, and she even came so far as to move out and move in with me, and literally started crying over him immediately, and ran back to him a few hours later, taking my kids from me a second time. my 5 year old
all but had a panic attack when that happened.
flame away
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 4:35 pm |
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terror-kahn
Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 4005
Location: Savannah, GA |
shitty situation man .. i feel bad for you.
im full of what i think "good advice" is, but the thing i've learned about advice is that people never listen and end up doing things their own way any way. so i wont try giving any advice.
best of luck to you. it will get better eventually. it might get worse first.. but it will get better. _________________
<----------- WAR2 TRAINING VIDEOS ----------->
http://www.youtube.com/ClanAbsoluteSynergy
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 4:42 pm |
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terror-kahn
Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 4005
Location: Savannah, GA |
if everything you're saying is pretty accurate, i hope you realize that if you ever do reconcile with your ex, the chances of her doing this all over again with someone else(or the same person) are probably extremely high.
im not saying dont get back with her. just be prepared to go through all of this shit again if you do. _________________
<----------- WAR2 TRAINING VIDEOS ----------->
http://www.youtube.com/ClanAbsoluteSynergy
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 4:46 pm |
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SoCzNedoK
Joined: 03 Jul 2005
Posts: 2332
Location: Rock Hill, SC |
wow dude that really sucks, I don't understand how she was able to get custody after being adulterous though, you definitely got screwed there. courts usually would go with the partner who didn't cheat. I went though a custody fight that started the year before last, i know they can be very very difficult, I was lucky enough to come out alright though, even not having been married. But yeah its the worst feeling in the world when your kid gets taken away, that happened to me and I had no idea where he was, it was very scary.
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 4:55 pm |
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Allstar
Joined: 23 Sep 2000
Posts: 2509
Location: Texas |
talked to a lawyer (not that i could afford one) who told me in texas, im pretty much out of luck getting custody in any way shape or form. adultery means she was a bad wife, doesn't affect her being a good mother, she said no judge in this city would give the father custody, unless i had something like video proof of her doing drugs or something.
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 4:58 pm |
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SarX
Joined: 28 Mar 2006
Posts: 2159
Location: Alabama |
Re: So, my ex destroyed my life, now what?
quote:
Originally posted by Allstar
bring on the flames I feel like venting so I don't care.
I'm 30 years old, I have 2 kids, a 5 year old named Chloe, and a 2 year old named Leila. I was married for 8 years.
Around July of last year (close to my birthday and our wedding anniversary) my wife started sleeping with another man. When I found out, she simply kept doing it in front of my face, she would simply leave the kids with me for the weekend and go fuck him to her hearts content. I was in between contract jobs at the time and on unemployment and had no way to do much about it, as she was on the Lease. Finally I got enough money to move out, and she moved in with him with my kids.
She immediately went to the attorney general, and denied me from seeing my kids untill I signed that I would pay child support.
The good job I had, I had a huge falling out with my boss (who is also family, and had a huge falling out with my family, but thats another story)
is gone and now I'm stuck delivering water bottles for $500 a week.
My child support is well over a 100 a week, my rent which is actually stupid low, is $600 a month, and I still owe court costs from the bullshit with the attorney general, and my credit is ruined from bailing on the apartment we had in middle of the lease, among other things, she also rushed off and filed her taxes before me claimin both kids (that i supported the majority of last year) and didnt give me a cent. now I owe the IRS $600.
I live in her hometown cause I used to be out of town all the time so we thought it best for her to be near her family, now I'm stuck here if I wanna have a life with my children away from all my friends and my own family.
Every time i get paid, i'm broke by the next monday. I literally own nothing, she took everything. The only thing I own is my falling apart pt cruiser that likes to overheat and go dead, and my aging gaming pc. I'm falling behind on child support because they screwed up and didnt draft it out of my check a few weeks, and might go to jail for that pretty soon. I'm now juggling paying back court costs, back child support, and the IRS, plus all my normal bills. She just picked up the kids and my 2 year old cried the entire time reaching out for me and repeating 'no daddy', and it pretty much ripped me apart. I'm really struggling to make it day by day. I don't know what to do I feel like I'm sinking in a hole and there's no way out. We tried to reconcile a month or so ago, and she even came so far as to move out and move in with me, and literally started crying over him immediately, and ran back to him a few hours later, taking my kids from me a second time. my 5 year old
all but had a panic attack when that happened.
flame away
Sorry to hear about this man. I had the exact same thing happen to me, married 8 years, 3 kids and all. One solid piece of advice I can give you is, do NOT let her come back. Once a cheater always a cheater. Go out and get yourself a decent woman who will love you and your children and when she sees how happy you are with someone you will get all the revenge you wanted. I would also reach out to family for help if possible. I know we've never talked much before but If you'd like to talk more feel free to PM me. I'm a few years older than you and this event in my life happened 2 years ago so I can relate to you. _________________ I don't think anyone has unlimited time, and that seems like a particularly strange conclusion to draw from about 20 minutes worth of posting on a message board. Hassan-i-Suckah
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 5:00 pm |
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Allstar
Joined: 23 Sep 2000
Posts: 2509
Location: Texas |
yeah my mom died when i was 12, and was the only real family i was ever close to, me and my dad don't get along, he just tells me to suck it up and get a job he doesn't wanna hear my shit. Most of my family won't accept my calls. They've been telling me to get away from her for years but for some reason I didn't listen. Now its all shaking their heads and i told you so's and you shoulda never married her and got her pregnant. I have a few high school friends I've remained in contact with but they live many hours away now and have families of their own to deal with.
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 5:02 pm |
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SoCzNedoK
Joined: 03 Jul 2005
Posts: 2332
Location: Rock Hill, SC |
wow i'm glad i didn't live in texas, i'm in south carolina though which is still pretty backwards but fortunately the judge gave me primary custody, which we recently turned into a 50-50 arrangement.
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 5:05 pm |
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terror-kahn
Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 4005
Location: Savannah, GA |
Good luck finding another or better job. Money sounds like the first barrier in all of this.
im surprised a lawyer told you that. you might consider talking to
a few
different lawyers. nothing wrong with taking advantage of a couple free consultations. _________________
<----------- WAR2 TRAINING VIDEOS ----------->
http://www.youtube.com/ClanAbsoluteSynergy
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 5:07 pm |
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SoCzNedoK
Joined: 03 Jul 2005
Posts: 2332
Location: Rock Hill, SC |
yeah also feel free to pm me if you need any advice, i had a really good lawyer so i learned a good bit about how the court systems work and how judges make their decisions
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 5:09 pm |
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SoCzNedoK
Joined: 03 Jul 2005
Posts: 2332
Location: Rock Hill, SC |
and yeah like terror said you might want to get more opinions from different lawyers, the first one i went to basically told me what you were told, and the next one i went to thought i had a case with everything i told her about the situation
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 5:13 pm |
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Kyr.Luoson
Joined: 01 Oct 2008
Posts: 1696
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Properly different in america but here in new zealand you can apply for legal aid to help out with court costs if you are on a low income..
Sad thing is, males get fucked over regarding kids. You are treated like a criminal while the female gets all the rights automatticaly assumed. It really is bullshit and many counties need change for pro fathers.
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 5:37 pm |
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GreenHorn
Joined: 04 Nov 2000
Posts: 1506
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Texas sounds alot like Florida as far as custody goes.
There's almost no way they will separate a child from mother.
I'd take Sarx's advise and move on.
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 5:45 pm |
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KingHillBilly
Joined: 24 Oct 2000
Posts: 1154
Location: California |
Thanks for the sobering reminder to never get married or have children.
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 6:06 pm |
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terror-kahn
Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 4005
Location: Savannah, GA |
quote:
Originally posted by Picka_materina
Wow. Pretty shitty situation. Glad i don't live in the US.
Looks like your first point of conduct is get a better job. I can't say much about other things since i have no idea how things go there reading all of this, but one thing's for certain.
Don't ever let her come back.
this is the type of advice i was talking about that people never listen to. if he was willing to take her back once after everything she put him through, he will do it again regardless of what anyone else says. _________________
<----------- WAR2 TRAINING VIDEOS ----------->
http://www.youtube.com/ClanAbsoluteSynergy
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 6:15 pm |
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terror-kahn
Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 4005
Location: Savannah, GA |
" We tried to reconcile a month or so ago, and she even came so far as to move out and move in with me, and literally started crying over him immediately, and ran back to him a few hours later, taking my kids from me a second time. my 5 year old
all but had a panic attack when that happened. " _________________
<----------- WAR2 TRAINING VIDEOS ----------->
http://www.youtube.com/ClanAbsoluteSynergy
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 6:30 pm |
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-667-
Joined: 21 Nov 2001
Posts: 5886
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In retrospect, I guess you should have prepared better for this, and handled some things better. I mean, things were going to get shitty regardless of your actions, but the lease, IRS stuff and her taking all your shit just seems something you could have taken care of with a clear mind. Same with losing the better job like you did. Not that it helps now and your ex-wife sounds like a fucktard, but perhaps you two should have done things like rational adults. I'd guess even your ex-wife from hell would have agreed since it'd be best for your kids if everyone left with their shit intact.
You're just going to have to hang in there, life will probably get easier once you just suck it up for a while and get rid of the IRS and court money owed. Whatever you do, deal with her as little as possible like others suggested. That shit is bad news.
Good luck getting it all together either way, you're still a newb faggot in war2 but not even newbies deserve this...
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 6:37 pm |
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turtleman@can
Joined: 08 Apr 2003
Posts: 8841
Location: Canada |
That sucks dude, the good news is you still got 2 kids that love you and all of your other problems seem to be stemming from the fact that you have a shitty job. If I were you, I'd work on getting a better job - or seeing if your government offers any kind of unemployment back to school programs, when you're in school you're usually shielded from a lot of government bullshit.
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 6:48 pm |
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$paCe
Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Posts: 4911
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A few things for you allstar. 1, don't get back with that whore or else you'll deserve worse. 2, her treachery will come back on her head if you do the right thing and just keep working and doing your job as a father to the best of your ability. 3, play war2 more than ever to avoid reality.
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:11 pm |
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BanMe
Joined: 24 Jul 2003
Posts: 2472
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See your kids when you can, be as good a father as you can given the circumstances, and work on bringing yourself up. Things could always be better or worse- I'm sure things could have been better before all this happened - you'll find a new status quo that you can be happy with. Most children have divorced / split up parents, they will be ok. They need you to be strong. _________________ Kanuks - The fact is you and foonew tried a double gay on me and ended up being BOTH behind me. Enough fucking said.
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:19 pm |
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Scrub
Joined: 13 Feb 2004
Posts: 4009
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quote:
Originally posted by BanMe
See your kids when you can, be as good a father as you can given the circumstances, and work on bringing yourself up. Things could always be better or worse- I'm sure things could have been better before all this happened - you'll find a new status quo that you can be happy with. Most children have divorced / split up parents, they will be ok. They need you to be strong.
This, if she doesn't let you see them then she's a piece of trash. I've got 2 girls, 3 years and 3 months and I couldn't imagine them being ripped away from meh.
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Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:54 pm |
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RamJam
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Posts: 1840
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After reading the story I didn't think anyone would be enough of a dick to flame allstar in this thread. I guess I underestimated the War II Forums.
Shitty situation though allstar. I hope things get better for you.
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Mon Feb 13, 2012 1:18 am |
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_Ataxia_
Joined: 21 Oct 2010
Posts: 854
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AND HE WAS RAPED TO RETIREMENT FROM WAR2. WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO!?!?
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Mon Feb 13, 2012 1:30 am |
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Fast Luck
Joined: 11 Oct 2001
Posts: 22805
Location: Penis |
we've only heard your side of it but that's a lot of hurt to inflict on her husband and children just because she's hot for some dude. love & passion are pretty capricious and powerful i guess but jeez, sounds selfish and cheating is lame :/ sorry dude
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Mon Feb 13, 2012 4:40 am |
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Allstar
Joined: 23 Sep 2000
Posts: 2509
Location: Texas |
rofl now my car wont start and im late for work
yay
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Mon Feb 13, 2012 5:04 am |
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