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swift0ne
Joined: 22 Mar 2011
Posts: 1426
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I've been considering eating my neighbors
I was recently contemplating locking my neighbors in the basement, feed them well for a few months in order to stuff em up and eventually slit their throats, bleed em out, butcher em and freeze. But after thinking hard, it just doesn't seem worth the risk of getting caught, so I decided to just get a fishing license instead.
Anyone else ever deal with a similar dilemma?
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Thu Nov 03, 2011 1:38 am |
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Winchester
Joined: 04 Oct 2011
Posts: 980
Location: Melbourne, Australia |
Totally.
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Thu Nov 03, 2011 1:43 am |
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The_G0D
Joined: 09 Oct 2007
Posts: 4488
Location: New Zealand & Australia |
Are you a vegetarian?
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<[TD]ViRuZ> You have balls...I like balls
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Thu Nov 03, 2011 3:24 am |
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The_G0D
Joined: 09 Oct 2007
Posts: 4488
Location: New Zealand & Australia |
Re: I've been considering eating my neighbors
and
quote:
Originally posted by Lightbringer-
...
WHERE THE FUCK WOULD YOU LIVE IF U PUT THEM IN YOUR PARENTS BASEMENT???
LOL
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<[TD]ViRuZ> You have balls...I like balls
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Thu Nov 03, 2011 3:25 am |
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swift0ne
Joined: 22 Mar 2011
Posts: 1426
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Re: I've been considering eating my neighbors
quote:
Originally posted by Lightbringer-
quote:
Originally posted by swift0ne
I was recently contemplating locking my neighbors in the basement, feed them well for a few months in order to stuff em up and eventually slit their throats, bleed em out, butcher em and freeze. But after thinking hard, it just doesn't seem worth the risk of getting caught, so I decided to just get a fishing license instead.
Anyone else ever deal with a similar dilemma?
Your dilemna should not be whether the risk of getting caught outweight the benefits of such an action but rather...
WHERE THE FUCK WOULD YOU LIVE IF U PUT THEM IN YOUR PARENTS BASEMENT???
LOL. I was expecting this comment from someone else.
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Thu Nov 03, 2011 10:54 am |
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Ideal-Hero
Joined: 08 Oct 2002
Posts: 591
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Re: I've been considering eating my neighbors
quote:
Originally posted by Lightbringer-
quote:
Originally posted by swift0ne
I was recently contemplating locking my neighbors in the basement, feed them well for a few months in order to stuff em up and eventually slit their throats, bleed em out, butcher em and freeze. But after thinking hard, it just doesn't seem worth the risk of getting caught, so I decided to just get a fishing license instead.
Anyone else ever deal with a similar dilemma?
Your dilemna should not be whether the risk of getting caught outweight the benefits of such an action but rather...
WHERE THE FUCK WOULD YOU LIVE IF U PUT THEM IN YOUR PARENTS BASEMENT???
ROFL that was a good one.
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Thu Nov 03, 2011 11:22 am |
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Jza
Joined: 14 Jul 2001
Posts: 894
Location: USA |
Haha, well done LightBringer.
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Thu Nov 03, 2011 3:37 pm |
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Location: Texas
Joined: 09 Feb 2009
Posts: 1913
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THE GREAT LANCE HAS SPOKEN!
fuck off you piece of shit.
_________________
“Imagine If You Wrapped A Percocet In A Slab Of Bacon, Fed It To A Woolly Mammoth, And Shouted ‘Dance, Hairy Boyfriend, Dance’ – That’s Torche.” -- Mike Huckabee
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Thu Nov 03, 2011 5:09 pm |
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swift0ne
Joined: 22 Mar 2011
Posts: 1426
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Re: I've been considering eating my neighbors
quote:
Originally posted by {Lancelight}
quote:
Originally posted by swift0ne
I was recently contemplating locking my neighbors in the basement, feed them well for a few months in order to stuff em up and eventually slit their throats, bleed em out, butcher em and freeze. But after thinking hard, it just doesn't seem worth the risk of getting caught, so I decided to just get a fishing license instead.
Anyone else ever deal with a similar dilemma?
WTF? Thats not even remotely funny.
it's not a joke
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Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:34 pm |
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-667-
Joined: 21 Nov 2001
Posts: 5886
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Re: I've been considering eating my neighbors
quote:
Originally posted by swift0ne
I was recently contemplating locking my neighbors in the basement, feed them well for a few months in order to stuff em up and eventually slit their throats, bleed em out, butcher em and freeze. But after thinking hard, it just doesn't seem worth the risk of getting caught, so I decided to just get a fishing license instead.
Anyone else ever deal with a similar dilemma?
terrible idea
humans have a pretty terrible feed conversion ratio, so your idea of fishing is kind of good in that regards (that is, if you insist on catching something and feeding it for efficiency).
If I were you, I'd just invest in a patch of land, killing the neighbours just for the fun of it, and perhaps spicing up your life by catching fatties and sodomizing/mutilating them. That sounds ecological, fat people are already fed enough.
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Thu Nov 03, 2011 7:28 pm |
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swift0ne
Joined: 22 Mar 2011
Posts: 1426
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quote:
Originally posted by The_G0D
Are you a vegetarian?
No, in fact I'm a body builder and eat well past my share of chicken/fish to maintain 320 pounds of protein, or 2 grams for every pound so I can have an overinflated muscle structure compared to my bone size which really doesn't serve any useful purpose.
are you?
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Mon Nov 07, 2011 2:31 am |
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swift0ne
Joined: 22 Mar 2011
Posts: 1426
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Re: I've been considering eating my neighbors
quote:
Originally posted by -667-
quote:
Originally posted by swift0ne
I was recently contemplating locking my neighbors in the basement, feed them well for a few months in order to stuff em up and eventually slit their throats, bleed em out, butcher em and freeze. But after thinking hard, it just doesn't seem worth the risk of getting caught, so I decided to just get a fishing license instead.
Anyone else ever deal with a similar dilemma?
terrible idea
humans have a pretty terrible feed conversion ratio, so your idea of fishing is kind of good in that regards (that is, if you insist on catching something and feeding it for efficiency).
If I were you, I'd just invest in a patch of land, killing the neighbours just for the fun of it, and perhaps spicing up your life by catching fatties and sodomizing/mutilating them. That sounds ecological, fat people are already fed enough.
Thanks for the input.
Also, I've had similar thoughts on killing pudge muffins. I remember I had a good friend in middle school that I nick named Plumpton whom I always tried to push down the stairs, and was successful a few times but he always lived. His weight problem increased as the years went on and I hated him for being a marshmallow (short, wide, squishy and sun burns easy), but never figured I was strong enough to carry away a 300 lb lifeless corpse in order to dispose of it.
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Mon Nov 07, 2011 2:44 am |
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The_G0D
Joined: 09 Oct 2007
Posts: 4488
Location: New Zealand & Australia |
quote:
Originally posted by swift0ne
quote:
Originally posted by The_G0D
Are you a vegetarian?
No, in fact I'm a body builder and eat well past my share of chicken/fish to maintain 320 pounds of protein, or 2 grams for every pound so I can have an overinflated muscle structure compared to my bone size which really doesn't serve any useful purpose.
are you?
I'm a geek.
_________________
<[TD]ViRuZ> You have balls...I like balls
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Mon Nov 07, 2011 2:52 am |
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swift0ne
Joined: 22 Mar 2011
Posts: 1426
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Excuse me, I meant 3 grams for every 1 lb.
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Mon Nov 07, 2011 2:59 am |
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-667-
Joined: 21 Nov 2001
Posts: 5886
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Re: I've been considering eating my neighbors
quote:
Originally posted by swift0ne
Thanks for the input.
Also, I've had similar thoughts on killing pudge muffins. I remember I had a good friend in middle school that I nick named Plumpton whom I always tried to push down the stairs, and was successful a few times but he always lived. His weight problem increased as the years went on and I hated him for being a marshmallow (short, wide, squishy and sun burns easy), but never figured I was strong enough to carry away a 300 lb lifeless corpse in order to dispose of it.
In addition, some fat people have actually developed a self esteem and might want to physically hurt you back, which can be a problem. It's probably just a matter of finding the proper fat person who has been totally raped of all self esteem?
I guess a fattie like that would have to be gutted and defleshed on the spot, which requires some extra planning. I mean 300 pounds, let's be serious...
Not much thrill of the chase in it, but I guess you could get excited from luring a 300lb. behemoth into that abandoned murdershack in the woods. More of a psychological hunt.
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Mon Nov 07, 2011 3:10 am |
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turtleman@can
Joined: 08 Apr 2003
Posts: 8841
Location: Canada |
this thread is pretty creepy, I think swift's really trying to tell us something. Does anybody know him irl? I think we should report this type of behavior and get him some help. (or is this some joke that I'm missing - besides just being awkward/funny)
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Mon Nov 07, 2011 7:41 pm |
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swift0ne
Joined: 22 Mar 2011
Posts: 1426
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Re: I've been considering eating my neighbors
quote:
Originally posted by -667-
quote:
Originally posted by swift0ne
Thanks for the input.
Also, I've had similar thoughts on killing pudge muffins. I remember I had a good friend in middle school that I nick named Plumpton whom I always tried to push down the stairs, and was successful a few times but he always lived. His weight problem increased as the years went on and I hated him for being a marshmallow (short, wide, squishy and sun burns easy), but never figured I was strong enough to carry away a 300 lb lifeless corpse in order to dispose of it.
In addition, some fat people have actually developed a self esteem and might want to physically hurt you back, which can be a problem. It's probably just a matter of finding the proper fat person who has been totally raped of all self esteem?
I guess a fattie like that would have to be gutted and defleshed on the spot, which requires some extra planning. I mean 300 pounds, let's be serious...
Not much thrill of the chase in it, but I guess you could get excited from luring a 300lb. behemoth into that abandoned murdershack in the woods. More of a psychological hunt.
Yeah, I see what you mean about the self esteem, and it makes a lot of sense, but I've already got a few long term fat friends (and skinny ones too) whom trust me completely, and I keep them around just in case I get fired some day and unable to obtain adequate food stamps. Kind of like cattle in the pasture just waiting for me.
But yeah, again you make another good point about the lack of excitement involved. Maybe I should take them far out in the woods to go camping or something, then pull out a rifle and give them a 20 minute head start. It's quite smart given that they're fat and have basically no chance of getting anywhere far due to the almost immediate exhaustion that is sure to kick in as soon as they start "running".
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Mon Nov 07, 2011 8:13 pm |
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swift0ne
Joined: 22 Mar 2011
Posts: 1426
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quote:
Originally posted by turtleman@can
this thread is pretty creepy, I think swift's really trying to tell us something. Does anybody know him irl? I think we should report this type of behavior and get him some help. (or is this some joke that I'm missing - besides just being awkward/funny)
Careful, don't let your halo strangle you while it dangles loosely around your neck.
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Mon Nov 07, 2011 8:22 pm |
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turtleman@can
Joined: 08 Apr 2003
Posts: 8841
Location: Canada |
quote:
Originally posted by swift0ne
quote:
Originally posted by turtleman@can
this thread is pretty creepy, I think swift's really trying to tell us something. Does anybody know him irl? I think we should report this type of behavior and get him some help. (or is this some joke that I'm missing - besides just being awkward/funny)
Careful, don't let your halo strangle you while it dangles loosely around your neck.
ya, this thread reminds me of those news stories of the mass murder kids who expressed their frustrations weeks before doing the deed on the internet 4 realz
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Mon Nov 07, 2011 8:26 pm |
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swift0ne
Joined: 22 Mar 2011
Posts: 1426
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how is it murder? define your terms
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Mon Nov 07, 2011 8:29 pm |
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Winchester
Joined: 04 Oct 2011
Posts: 980
Location: Melbourne, Australia |
quote:
Originally posted by Shotgun_
Hai guyz look at me
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Tue Nov 08, 2011 6:27 am |
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